The great adventures of Alexander-the Wellore.
“shhhh…the Inocs will be here any second… Do you want to DIE boy?!”
This was the life of the Jens . Living in the fear of the Inocs for the past 20 generations. It is quite nightmarish except it doesn’t seem to get over. The Inocs, they were your average monsters. The trolls and the treacherous giants. Sly clever and mostly scary. Oh yes, they were quite the scary ones…with their big fangs and fat bellies covered with boils and their wide-wide smiles. And the thing they were famous for was their cannibalistic appetite. They said that their favorites were wee little children!
But you can never be sure about these malicious little fairy tales, for I say not what I see but what I hear. And I hear about the stories of the doomed Jens and the wicked Inocs.
It was just another day at Somewhere, just another hopeless day for all but one: Alexander. Some say he was an angel send by God and some say that he was God himself, but no one really knew who he was. Ever since we knew him, or they knew him, he was a boy around 8 years old. He had always been this way, never grew up and maybe that’s why he was the only carefree and happy soul around. Always smiling and joyous, celebrating every small thing. Yes ,he was the living example of all the clichés in the world along with all the overtly optimistic mottos such as “carpe diem”. In a line, he was the kind of kid you would punch in the face for being irritatingly happy 24/7. The reason people believed that he was holy was that he was a sign of hope, a sign of life in the ruined dark lands of Somewhere.
Back to the story:
It was a dark cloudy day at Somewhere with not a single ray of sun to be seen. But for Alexander and his loyal friend Sir William (his dog), it was the day they defeat their powerful nemesis – the Dullerator, who transforms soft green grass into mold and steals candy from little boys!
“ I am your worst nightmare and you shall perish, your nastiness ends here! My most loyal companion and I shall undo you to death!”
“ a challenge, you say? Have you lost your mind?! I am bewildered by your foolishness but still I accept it. Come on dear Dullerator, I’ll fight you till your death! Haha hhaha hahaha…mmm”
And so the boy jabs and stabs thin air with mighty force and valor. With a smug smile on his face he withdraws his sword as if pulling it out of the body of his foe.
“ I win! I WIN! I have vanquished your evil, I now laugh at your fallen pride and power! Hahahahahaha”
He now waves at the applause only his imagination receives. With a pat on his dog’s back he makes his way to the forest and dreams of his mighty glories in a palace he built himself.
After a long and dreamy nap, Alexander plans a trip to the local market, to first sell and then buy with all that he had earned.
Alexander was neither an orphan nor did he have any parental support. It was just him and the loyal Sir William. It’s nothing he would complain about though. Many people offered to take him under his shelter but he liked living in his secluded quarters, loved by all and owned by none.
In the market he sold toys that he’d carve out on wood in his free time. And boy, were they beautiful! And also quite high on demand, for every time they came they’d be sold out like hotcakes. Everyone wanted their own figurine for its exemplar craftsmanship and great affordability.
But at the end of each day he wouldn’t earn much… just enough to buy himself and Sir William some carrots – his beloved.
Let’s take a look at the Inocs and what their vile minds were up to-
“ Sweet little children nuggets! We are running out of food. People in Somewhere have trained themselves to hide from us. And now our everlasting food supply is coming to an end! Oh, how will I feed my children? With chickens!? Or worse, VEGETABLES!! GREEN SPINACH, STINKY RADDISH AND THOSE EVIL AND SNIDE EGGPLANTS!! This is INSULTING and CRUEL and especially embarrassing!!”
“What is it now Chokola? What are you whining about this time? Don’t we have enough problems at hand?!”
“It’s the FOOD! IT’S ALL GONE!!”
“WHAT?! WHERE DID IT GO?? Did you eat it or just LOOSE IT?”
“The food in the everlasting food supply is coming to an end. The Jens have been outsmarting us and we had to depend on our emergency supply and now… NOW… IT’S OVER!!”
That’s right! Our dear monsters are running out of food and now they are desperate. Its fate and this time the Inocs are going to make the Jens extinct! But fear not dear reader, for there is hope. When there is bad, good will rise up against it. A cliché for our cliché living hero: Alexander. Our not so promising, but only hope for a hero.
“We need to report this to our supreme leader…GANGATOR, my wife”
“There is no one I pity more than you my friend for you are punished both outside and inside your house”
“You mean CAGE”
“I mean JAIL”
And so Chokola and his fellow Inoc marched clumsily towards the mean and devious supreme leader- Gangator.
Now one thing you need to know about Gangator, was that she was not the feline she was expected to be. She was anything but lady-like. She was gross, huge and smelly and more than anything she was Ugly. She made flowers rot and made hell look heavenly. There was nothing worse than Overhere- the land she ruled. And the one thing she hated, loathed the most was- bad news and optimism.
After taking a trip to Overhere the one thing you would notice was that the Inocs and Jens were equally doomed. But never trust what I deliver for I tell what I hear and not what I see.
“WHATT?! YOU FOUND WHAT?! One thing Chokola, one thing I asked you to do: look after our food, but that too you can’t do now can you? What do we eat NOW?? MY BRAIN? VEGETABLES?? WHAT??!”
“NOW NOW DEAR…UMM…DONT GET UPSET NOW…IT’S ONLY A TEENY-TINY PROBLEM WHICH WILL BE SOLVED IN no time! It’s not a BIG DEAL, now is it dear?”
“Not a big deal? Not a big deal? NOT A BIG DEAL?? I’m not sure you understand the seriousness of this situation at ALL! Chokola, my dear dim-witted sweet sweet Chokola, are you out of your MIND?? General, I need my finest cavalry to go out and announce doomsday for all the Jens in stinking little Somewhere. It’s an order. NOWW!!”
And so Overhere was in panic just as Somewhere was soon to be.
At Somewhere, under all that happiness, deep down in his heart Alexander suppressed his fears and his complains from the world, from everyone but his dog and friend Sir William. His greatest fear was the fact that everyone would be eaten by the heinous Inocs, and somewhere in his optimistic little heart he knew that his fears were about to come true.
Sir William knew that soon they had to show courage and like in their daydreams fight evil. He knew like the Jens that Alexander was their only hope for he was the boy who didn’t age and with his immortality had a better chance than any to defeat the Inocs.
Their thoughts were disturbed by the announcement blaring through the loudspeaker in Somewhere. It was the General and two other Inocs.
“Dear soon to be treats, use your brains and pay attention, for afterwards I will snack on them; our supreme leader has ordered me to announce your doomsday. Today is it and starting from today we will prey on your old and gobble up your young and serve the rest for main course. Now you are free to panic for that is music to my ears. Go ahead; feel free to realize your doom. Cheerio!”
“HELP US!! SPARE US!!”
“PLEASE WE BEG OF YOU!!”
The cries echoed in Alexander’s mind. Was it a nightmare or the reality? After years of outsmarting the Inocs, do they have a chance to survival? Can they endure the supposed “doomsday”?
That evening a meeting was organized in Somewhere, the first in years. The Jens and Alexander debated… the possibilities of survival. They all came to one decision: Alexander was to sneak up in their lair and finish off the dirty and conniving Inocs.
Now the Jens, they know he could do it, but him…he was scared to death about the aftermath of failing to destroy the monsters; but he knew that it was a possibility he couldn’t afford to think about. Victory is what he should look for and what he should get; at least that’s what he deserved.
The following morning his training was to start, battle preparations. It was to go on for 3 Sometimes, in human terms that’s a week. Every day he ran 5 miles , practiced self-defense and learnt tactics from the local Orgia (a man as old as time and as experienced as one could be. He was the wisest of them all).Also, every day the council prepared a list of all the citizens abducted by the Inocs. People hid in their houses all day long and travelled to the market via underground tunnels for food and weapons. Fear was in each mind and food was running out. They couldn’t outsmart the Inoc army and thus hiding was their only option.
The day had finally come, the day Alexander would destroy the Inocs. The Orgia and all the Jens wished him luck. Unarmed and scared Alexander head out to the depths of Overhere with his dog- Sir William .
Alexander hid behind the black and sticky walls of Overhere. He hid from the huge giants guarding the doors of the palace within which the supreme leader resided. One thing the Orgia told him that probably even the Inocs forgot over time was that the supreme leader was the main link behind the entire Inoc population, so technically if you defeat the leader the population will die out in seconds.
He walked towards the guards and looked them right in the eye and said , “I wish to talk to your leader, it’s about something you numb skulls wont comprehend.”
Yeah, they took offense to that and yup they arrested him. But before making him into a stew they took him to Gangator, fulfilling his probably last wish.
“ Gangator, I come in peace to enjoy a conversation with you before you fulfill your hunger through me.”
“ I am not impressed by your formal speech but since you have the guts to walk into my lair unarmed, I will reward you by the luxury of talking to me”
“I am deeply grateful. I come here just to ask you what you plan to do once you are done with eating all of us…what will be your substitute to the tender flesh of us Jens? Our soft succulent meat and our melodious cries of helplessness is surely something no other can’t achieve. It’s a gift you see. But then again you will never be able to make us extinct for it’s your doomsday as you think that you are greater than us. But I really hope that you can achieve whatever it is that you want to”
“I laugh at your idiocy. We are clearly greater than you and you are a fool to think that you will be spared just because you flatter me with your optimism. You are clearly neither a Jen nor a Inoc but have involved yourself in matters that don’t concern you”
“It’s true that no one knows my origin and I am not like the 2 races, but the Jens are my family and I am theirs. Relations are made out of love not blood”
“hahaha…your tender mind is fooled and you disgust me with your hopefulness and stupid quotes”
“I challenge you milady to a battle; to a battle till death do us part”
“And why should I accept dear boy? I might as well kill you now, saves me time too”
“Aaaa… it does save your time but not defend your honor”
“ HOW DARE YOU?! CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!”
And so both Alexander and Gangator battle with a sword and no shield for shields were for the weak, according to the wise and old of Overhere.
For Alexander and his dog, it was just like their daydreams but real. There was a powerful nemesis and also a challenge, except this time the fight might not be in his favor.
And so they fought and jabbed around aimlessly. Both of them were poor swordsmen but it was a boy against a troll, the odds were fewer than ever. In a matter of minutes both the swords fell and the troll pounced on the boy. His self-defense tactics were now useless. But in that hopeless moment, when he was sandwiched between the ground and Gangator, he had one of those energizing and motivating realizations. He once again realized the importance of his mission and what all was at stake. The mother load of all clichés. With that smug smile on his face he pushed his legs into gangator’s stomach and jumped right up. He then punched her in the head and felt bones crack. The bones were of his knuckles or of her skull he did not know, he just kept punching her enduring the sharp white pain piercing through his body.
After sometime, she fell with a thud. Motionless and silent. And as he looked around all the Inocs burst into a big blast of slime. He had done it. He had achieved it.
He made his way into Somewhere, holding Sir William in his arms, both covered in whatever was left of the Inocs and was welcomed by applause that he had only dreamt of in his sweetest dreams, but this was real.
After this great and celebrated victory he was bestowed upon the title of “Wellore” meaning “the warrior”. Peace returned to Somewhere where the hero was a cliché and his dog was the clichés only companion.
But don’t go by what I say for I say what I hear and not what I see, and I hear about the adventures of Alexander –the Wellore.