my life, poems etc.

Smoke

The pink child met

Some purple infidels

And in them did she confide

But come sundown

Purple became brown

And rainbows ebbed into darker skies

With the pale sickle

Bearing witness 

The pink lit angry flames

Between porcelian teeth

And with each pull

The smoke swirled 

Within her smiling memory

Then come scarlet daybreak

She mixed with the Gray

And walked amongst damned purple 

Pink now gone 

The little fawn

Was devoured by the screaming lion

my life, poems etc.

A fat heart

my mind plays tricks on me
in mirrors it reflects hypotheticals

different paths to ifs and onlys
impossible parallels to my existence

it taps into my secrets
and plays a shady advertisement

promising the good life
in exchange of my soul

representing beauty
in a rigged election

because sometimes
my mind is overpowered by my body

the shell I live in defining me
rolls and ridges of generous flesh

bigger than my heart
greater than my intentions

and larger than my love for you
for me

i lost myself to the material
mean mathematics had finally conquered me

and while my shell got better for them
it left no space for breathing

my heart was fat
and you weren’t okay with that

so you butchered me into shape
leaving a hole between my lungs

making me the canvas
of your insecurities

my life, poems etc.

On being a slut

My cotton briefs sit by my lacy bra leṭte  

Ink stained fingers wear seductive reds

My hair dishevelled and lobes twice pierced

Legs pour out of the shorts stretched across my derriere

Christian faith nestled in boastful cleavage

My morals looser than my lovers by the sewage

Brought up in elite upscale high rises

 I drive downtown for my sunrises 

The thunder reigning over me

Making your structure a mockery

And yet I am a slut for nothing more

Than all these sins my sisters branded me for

All these luxuries I allowed myself

Cashed out on the moral credit I once held

This generation they call themselves new

Rebels like me the deviant few

Monogamous monotonous daughters and mothers

On your wrinkles the dark age hovers

The feminist you claimed to be

Pigs more understanding than she

poems etc.

Colours~Mental Health

In the ward were different colours

Some dull and some bright

Each shade luminous under the sun

Each with a different emotion

Some open and some closed

And still others oscillating

Like a pendulum of sensations

Their extremities adding beauty

Making them as radiant as a meteor

Burning through the Galaxy

With a flame sharp

Lighting its path

And in this atmosphere

Of different paints and hues

None were less and none more

Each equal in its own occupance

Each true in its own existence

Nothing about them a disorder 

my life, poems etc.

On fear

Daylight passes in nerve racking anxiety

As my heart searches common ground to bond

And night comes a forced conversation

A small hope of tomorrow for one sided love

And I hated living an obsessed infatuated doom

But years had jailed me in anxious prisons

With empty nights and secret days

A pathetic circle with you across

My aching mind cries ever lost

And what I seek know I won’t find

But searching everyday for an end a cure

When frustrated I almost confess my soul pure

Panic stopping my sin in my lungs

Breath ragged gasps of misfortune 

Said nothing of deep fears repressed entrenched

For future spelled us only miles and seas

Spaces I couldn’t believe you’d foresee 

In the end truth left torment torn

Knew the world not for me but some other

You were yours and I was mine

And since we spoke of nothing more