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All the writers I’ve loved before

My creative writing assignment required me to list out 10 of my favorite books. Naturally, I forgot all the good books I had ever read and found it increasingly difficult to name any beyond three. So, I decided to name 10 authors instead— which weirdly enough seemed like an easier thing to do. In order to protect this blog from my post-publication scrutiny, I will be listing 10 good authors at random, from off the top of my head. While it is true, that this blog post completely deviates from the task at hand, it, in many ways, does more than what was required.

So here goes:-

1. Sylvia Plath

So throwback to my sadness phase when life was shit and everything sucked. Coincidently also a throwback to a comparatively substance-free phase when I discovered, or rather was gifted, Plath’s Bell Jar. As a part of my pretentious-i-want-to-be-a-writer journey, I read the shit out of it. And even though the book was bleak and truly dark, I was amazed at how much I could empathize with.

Kinda fucked up.

But anyway, that was my introduction to the profoundly suicidal Plath— a beautiful jeweler of grief, with every book being a timid reflection of the artist who birthed it.  Singing of truths I felt, and I’m sure Plath did too.

2. Sidney Sheldon

So there are good books. The ones that make it on everyone’s ‘to-read’ lists. The ones that are at the top of the ‘good books’ charts. The ones that win awards.

Then there are the slightly trashy but unbelievably gripping ones. The ones you have a love-hate relationship with. The secret affairs. Names you would confess and not announce.

Sidney Sheldon is one of those names for me. Writing strong, seriously sexist female protagonists and their prototypical male counterparts in insane thrillers encompassing the exotic charm of foreign countries, Sheldon takes you on a trip you literally cannot look away from.

3.Manto

A truly controversial, seriously hot, Partition writer, who was called to court for his inappropriateness more than multiple times. Honestly, I cannot even describe my love for a writer like him. Masterful and strong, albeit provocative and overwhelming, this short story writer is an indisputable classic. I urge everyone to read him. Simple and yet sophisticated. Painful and yet serene. Heavy, despite being short. Truly exemplary.

4.Woody Allen

So yeah I know he isn’t a “writer”. But honestly, he is so much more.

A screenplay writer. Director. Actor. And just one of those people you are glad exists in the same time period as you— which is a really fucked up thing to say, especially after the Dylan Farrow allegations. But this article is about art more than the artist, and Allen is an artist supreme.

Anyway, I got introduced to him with Annie Hall — where I got a taste of the maestro as all things he is celebrated for. Brilliant beyond words, funny and charming, I was truly swept away. And it takes much to accomplish that.

No, I’m really easy.

Then came Manhattan, Vicky Christina Barcelona, A Crisis in Six Scenes, Blue Jasmine and so many more. Some shit. But the others good. And the good ones were everything.

(Allen works according to the Law of Averages, churning out films blind to public reaction, hoping that in the multitudes made one would be actual gold)

This man has my heart. Hopefully, he will have yours too.

5. John Green

While this is shaping up to be a hopelessly disappointing list of great names, the article is about my great ‘loves’, and the John-Green phase was a dominant one for many teenagers (along with the Rainbow-Rowell phase). I could probably fangirl about Kafka’s Metamorphosis, but a 15-year old Sashrika, who was constantly flipping through that one ratty copy of The Fault in our Stars (in its pre-fame days), will probably tell me to fuck off. So dropping my pretentious-artist facade, I will talk about John Green.

So yeah, my doctor weirdly enough recommended this factually inaccurate cancer drama, and after that I only had two things on my mind— a serious doubt in my doctor’s qualifications, and also a fascination with the new world Green introduced in his paperback. It was the world of impossible teenage love, depressing cancer (pre-cancer fame), a disarming Augustus Waters, and an unbelievably intellectual Hazel Green— who obviously became my new secret idol.

So then I read more from this American author, who had possessed me, and consequently voyaged into a world of oddly intellectual teenagers with great sex lives, no parental control, and love amidst cigarettes. I wanted these problems, this great coral-film life. The prototypical Green female fatale was always hopelessly depressed and obsessively bothered with the apparent futility of her existence— inspiring a similar need to have anxiety, which I diligently diagnosed myself with. I called my boredom an ‘Existential Crisis’.

But really, it was just summer break and Instagram wasn’t a big thing then.

It was a phase. A bold strong phase that died as soon as it caught on in the rest of the world. Exclusivity was a big thing for me.

6.Sudha Murthy

Also known as my ‘7th-grade phase’.  Along with Agatha Christie and the ever-present Rick Riordan.

Also, Sophie Kinsella. Holy shit, what was that?Probably a manifestation of my innate perversion, which now only brings me closer to the likes of Manto. Looking back at this strange assortment, one can only sigh.

Anyway, Murthy was probably one of the first female writers I ever read, second only to the magnanimous Enid Blyton. She introduced me to feminism, as well as the ‘Indian woman’ and her conventional prisons. She also brought me childhood, when mine was a raging dumpster fire.

From what I remember, there was warmth in her stories— something I needed in the cold corridors of school in the new city.

7. Margaret Atwood

Oh man. I’m not even sure if I’m qualified to do this, but this is the one person I love even though she is nothing more than a warm acquaintance.

So yeah, I saw two shows — The Handmaid’s Tale and Alias Grace. And yeah, I fangirled the fuck out of them for months. And then I thought, “Shit, I need to read something from her”—but oddly enough never got around to it. She is on top of my list.

But I did get around to reading this short story of hers— Stone Mattress. Fuck.

8.Ruskin Bond

This guy dominated my childhood. Young Sashrika started reading with this guy right here. And no, she didn’t read any of those ‘Rusty’ stories. Weirdly enough, she couldn’t stay interested in books that didn’t have a female protagonist. But she did read a lot of his short stories. An enormous amount of short stories. The first book she ever read was A Road to the Bazaar, and she skimmed through it and pretended to have had read it. Just like she pretended to swim up until eighth grade. Picture an awkward-gangly me doggy paddling and christening it as ‘swimming’.

Anyway, I did eventually start reading him. It was easy, clean and comfortable. I liked Bond immediately. And that had nothing to do with the fact that, for the longest time, my retarded self truly believed that Ruskin Bond was James Bond’s uncle. Thanks, Dad.

Bond is easily one of the better Indian writers. No questions asked. He stirred a desire to live in the hills— which is huge for someone who hates the cold.

9. Chekhov

Another essential phase. Amongst that of Maupassant, War and Peace, Virginia Woolf, and also Khalid Hosseini. Wow. I think weird assortments are kind of my thing now?

Anyway, another segway into the art of short story writing— another thing I probably would never be able to master, Chekhov came to me as a Hindi chapter titled: Girgit, conversely known as The Chameleon. A short, yet full story which, on the surface is just an ordinary plotline, but in actuality goes much deeper. I guess I was always fascinated with Son Papdi-style literature —with layers that make it so much more fun to analyze. Also probably why I took up literature later. Odd.

While the names of the characters are hard to get used to, a collection of his work is truly worth your time.

10.Gregory David Roberts

I guess it’s only appropriate to end with Roberts. Oh man, Shantaram — easily one of my favorite books. Probably my favourite? No genre can trap this beautiful piece of art that flowed through me and left me much too quickly. Honestly, a recommended read for everyone who is looking for not only a great book, but also a spiritual journey of sorts.

Is it sad that I can probably list more shows than authors?

Also after writing this I realized what a dumbass I am— 10 books are so much easier. I guess the ambiguity of authors saved me from the anxiety of picking specific books?

Fuck. I just realized I could’ve named a lot of great songwriters.

Holy shit am I smelling another post?

no

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Woman

It was a thin wire

Spindly thin

And she walked on it

Carefully fast

With her pink clown shoes

As she tried to keep

Her diminishing locks

From prying into her eye

 

So, with her tired arms

And bony fingers

She wobbled

The deadly waltz

With a sly hoop

Dancing on her neck

And twisting into her hair

 

 

The hall gasped

As she spun

And almost slipped off

Unexpectedly

But the greased line

A loving mother

Kept her bleeding heels

Steadily sloped

 

 

“It would be a miracle if she made it”

they whispered

in between their thin mints

and garlic popcorn

 

Two tickets for a dollar

We bought tampons for more

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Bondage

With every echoing moan

I forget our war against the patriarchy

And now

I’m swamped with these moments

Where I’m more animal than woman

And with each lyric of my night

I wonder if its wrong

To be this submissive

To feel power in losing control

I wonder if my sisters would

look at me different

With hot purple sex bloated on my back

And

I wish I could be honest

About my color

But when I wake up

I don’t know how to explain tough love

And hide from you

Because its this sad confusion

That whips me harder than them

And its in this chaos

Where I truly lose myself

And fear finally hits my floodgates

Enslaved to an undying sadistic culture

Tied down with no safe word

my life, poems etc.

Outstation

We went like we came

With loud speed and uncertainty

But long walks and daybreak took us in

And with the sun we rose

Finding each other in the mountain air

And calm lakes from another time

Suspended in moments etched within rocks darker than night

We floated home on a cloud

And closed our eyes