my life

Alaska

I scanned it…

Twenty times today.

That was three more than last time.

And last time was last month when I said happy birthday but I could see through those exclaimation points that you weren’t as glad.

And ten times more before that.

When you told me how to get over you, as if cutting you off was it for me.

It felt like it was more for you.

And I guess I seemed pathetic then, but I could never be that.

Because nothing could convince me to cash out on all the hours.

And all the effort I burnt…

To light myself up, once.

To give up on all our conversations and everything I wanted to see. To hear. To feel.

A someday.

You said you wanted to know me more.

And I guess I was the water that killed the wick, because I was out before I could even work.

The scented candle slowly spent itself on the crumbling wood of my time. Stained with indecent rot that filled me as it left you.

And you’re coming back tomorrow. But the scan tells me you’re not worth melting for anymore.

I just wish I hadn’t wasted my match on your cold golden eyes.

Because my box is almost out of sparks.

And its getting colder in Alaska everyday.

Advertisements
poems etc.

The election 

They won the only coin toss

Before the others knew how to play

And then they stood appalled 

From higher moral ground

Wearing coats with green lapels

Hints of gold in their salivating grins 

Preaching dreams only to tax them

In barren lands rain a sin


And yet the hollow people followed fast

The humourless constitution of the dream weaver

Afoot on a cloud above 

Lambs electing butchers as their leader


Finally they reached the alter

Their carcass stinking of despair 

As he perfumed himself with power

The illustrious illusion of order

Was only for the civic fair


And thus the carnivore sat on the throne

Lined by the hide of your forefathers 

While your flesh drops off your bone

The fat man’s dinner party a slaughter


poems etc.

Unexpected arrival

With an unexpected arrival

Drowned memories surface

Like bloated corpses 

Deserving no burial

And beseeching comfort 

The frightened juvenile 

Averts hateful glances

As she shields herself

In a cocoon of consolations

Trying to suppress

What she got away with

Desperately hiding

The hole in her heart

Made by her ego

Blamed on him